I Apologize In Advance


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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Title Unbeknownst to Me

Really, I'm having complete uninspired writer's block right now. I guess I could tell you out there what terrible eye sight I have. I'm not sure what the ratio is (i.e. 20/20 or 15/20) but it's pretty bad. I mean, just to read what I'm typing here, situated about 1 or 2 feet from the screen, i have to squint my eyes, which actually doesn't do anything. Sure, it helps a little bit, but i can't read the words very clearly. I can't even begin to comprehend how I would survive without my contacts, or glasses, but i hate those. Even my contacts don't help a whole bunch. They just give my eyesight a boost big enough that I can read the board from the back of the classroom. Worse, my eyesight is slowly decreasing each and every year. I don't think you people with perfect vision will ever understand what it's like to feel blind, which i know I'm not. I just feel like i am. I should be grateful that i can see colors and shapes and peoples mouths moving and expressive hand gestures, but for now, i'm not. I'm a teenager, it comes with being in this weird rebellion stage of life. If i don't have what i want, I feel as if i'm being punished. I can't help it. Sorry for those of you that I'm offending, but i'm not going to lie.

Talking about lying, my friend, Allie, and I had an interesting conversation about how easy it is to lie today while waiting in the lunch line. We both discovered that we're both pretty bad at it, which is a good thing. Hallelujah! The only exception is that I am able to lie in "yes" or "no" questions. I mean, it's a fifty-fifty chance that i'm going to lie or tell the truth. It's not that hard. I'm sure most of you out there are a lot better at it than me. When i lie, i smile or end up laughing, because i feel like a complete idiot trying to lie to people. Oh, and eye contact isn't even impossible. That's why i only succeed when i'm sitting side by side with someone, and it takes too much effort to turn your head to stare at your friend. Plus, that can be awkward...staring at someone that close... unless, no. It's still awkward. I'm kind of glad I can't 100% lie. I mean, imagine what your life would be like if your closest friends lied to you. They wouldn't even be your close friends! So thank you, God, for giving us selfish humans guilty consciences. If you want to know, the last time i lied was two days ago. Guess what i lied about? I told the girl who sits next to me in Human Biology that i've eaten fugu before. If you don't know what fugu is, it's puffer-fish, served raw. Sadly, puffer-fish is poisonous, so the people who eat it are risking their lives each time they eat it. It's insane! Ha but if you think about it, each time you prepare fugu you would be pretty much be risking someone's life. Scary thought.

Um, yeah. Nothing else is popping up into my mind...so i'm going to stop. Have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Discouraged

Hey, guys...I'm not in a happy mood right now. In order to understand my pain you must realize something about me. I love music. I do. It's pretty much my entire life. I'm pretty sure i'd be living under a rock without it. Because of this passion for music I take voice lessons, which i love. The only problem is that my teacher makes me act as well as sing. In order to fully express yourself in your song you are sometimes required to act the part. That's just how it is, but honestly, if i'd wanted to act i would take drama, and there's a reason i don't do that. No matter how hard I try i can't seem to put myself out there. And now I've been told that something i love and something i hate must coexist completely discourages me! I don't know what I'm going to do. For like two seconds I considered quitting, but that just made my heart ache and my eyes burn, so that is completely out of the question.

I'm not sure how i'm going to sing if i have to act. It's not possible for me, it just isn't. It's not who i am (it may be someone i want to be, but i'm not going to be untrue to myself). Now, i realize that i'm being way too dramatic about this, but when it comes to me and music, there is no possible way to be melodramatic. I LOVE MUSIC! I love singing and listening to it. I love it when i become emotionally involved in what i'm listening to and the song is no longer just a song, but a story. I truly believe everything i've just said. What i don't believe is how acting and singing have anything to do with one another. Sure, they make a great combination when done right, I know plenty of musicals that have emotionally impacted me, but i will never be able to up myself to that level. My stupid anti-social personality keeps me from doing that. When i'm with a group of my friends, and they're acting crazy, I'm usually the only one not acting crazy. I laugh, sure, but i don't act. See where i'm getting at?

But whatever, I hope you've enjoyed my little spiel. I can't help but feel strongly about the point above. Secretly, I really really really really want to act while i sing, but i don't think i ever can. So for now, I won't. But anyway, that's all i can think to write right now. Thanks for listening. Hope i didn't annoy you.

Monday, February 21, 2011

After The Bachelor

So... I'm blogging. Fun concept to think about, i know. Seriously, most of the time when i log onto this website i absolutely have no idea what I'm going to be telling those few people who actually read what i put down. Which i guess is good, because then you can actually have a sense of what my personality is like. Truly, I don't think i act like the way i portray myself here, which is probably bad...or we can blame it on my antisocial-ness, which is what i usually do.

On a random side note, I found a new band to listen to. As referred to in my last post, I am obsessed with Phantom of the Opera. In turn, this means I listen to the soundtrack pretty much 24/7...when i'm doing homework, talking to friends, going out for a jog, etc etc etc... A few days ago i decided that i should probably find something new to listen to. I'm pretty sure my friends were sick of me belting out off-pitch versions of Music of the Night. At first, I thought i'd just listen to another band/group that was already in my iPod. After much frustration, and after moving back to Phantom again and again, I decided i had to find a brand new band that i'd never ever listened to before. Now, you must understand that this is a very risky business for me. I'm picky in almost every single area of my life, and music is no different. If i don't like the first song I hear by the group I just won't like the rest of their music. Sad, yes, but that's me.

One day, while sitting in the exact same spot i've been eating lunch with my friends during school for years, i pulled out my iPod, and thinking about the terrible predicament I was in, pretty much decided to screw music altogether. Get rid of it. See if I care that music wasn't a part of my life. Sigh. Whilst in this sad state of thought, Brock happened to be sitting down next to me, listening to his music on his iPod. I admit, I was slightly jealous that he actually had music he liked, and didn't have all these conflicting feeling about it. That, my dear friends, is probably the saddest thing ever. But moving on, I suddenly had the thought that whatever he was listening to might actually be good, so i asked him what he was listening to.

It turned out to be Who I Am Hates Who I've Been by Relient K. Before that moment, I've heard about Relient K, but had never had the urge to actually listen to their music. It actually took me two whole days of my sad I-Give-Up-On-Music before i actually decided to investigate. Let me tell you, I am absolutely in love with Relient K now. They're awesome, and i'm amazed I've never heard any of their songs before. Actually, into further investigation, I found i have one song by them on my iPod, but it's the 12 Days of Christmas, so i guess that explains everything. Ha well, now i have a new band that i love, my life is now filled with music, and I've never been happier. Actually, yes i have been happier, but honestly, i don't know any of you out there good enough to let you into my mind. Not even my best friends know how i feel. I suppose my Heavenly Father is the only one who truly knows how i feel...but that's what he's for :)

So, yeah....my blog posting is done. Glad you actually read this far. Have a great day, night, evening, afternoon, whatever. See ya.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Obsession

Have you ever had those crazy obsessions where you can't seem to ever get rid of them? If you haven't, you obviously won't understand what I am going through. Currently, I can't seem to stop thinking about Phantom of the Opera. I mean, it's got music, opera-like dancing, and gorgeous men. I am, of course, talking about the movie by Andrew Lloyd Webber. A couple weeks ago my school actually put on the play Phantom of the Opera, and it was AMAZING. I've never seen anything like it before.

When the movie originally came out in 2004, my little teenage self loved it. I couldn't get enough of it. Over the years, my obsession died down, and yet, because of my school it has come back. To tell you the truth, i don't mind one bit. Who couldn't like it? If you haven't seen it, I suggest that you do because it will forever change your mind about haunting love stories. (On a side note, Gerard Butler plays the Phantom, so that just makes the movie 10X greater).

Ha I know its been about a month or so since I've last posted something on here. If you're wondering why I've decided to start attempting to write again, it's because a very dear friend of mine asked me for the url of my blog. Until then, I'd completely forgot about it. Ever since that day, I can't seem to stop myself from thinking of witty little things to put out here for the world to see. Seriously, when i was walking down the hallway of my high school yesterday I saw this little doodle of a Viking on one of the spirit posters hanging in on the wall and thought, "oh! cute! I wanna tell someone about that." Instead of having the impression to tell my friends, I actually thought of my blog. Way to go dear friend, you've got me obsessed with my blog now.

Actually, blog writing isn't so bad....kind of fun. In a way.

Question for anyone out there who reads my posts. Have you ever written a note to someone? Not a letter. No. Those are completely different. I'm talking about sitting in school and pulling out some paper and a pen to write a little happy thought for a friend of yours who is only a few classrooms down from you. If you haven't, it's a great way to show your appreciation, as well as get some thoughts down if you are anti-social like me, and want your friends to know you actually do have a personality. Haha so far i've written 2 notes to Natalie (who wrote me back! love ya!), 1 to Allison, 1 to Brock, and another to Heather. It's quite fun...and I'm completely random in my notes. I'm pretty sure they have no order of construction whatsoever. But my friends seemed to enjoy them, so i guess something went right there :)

Okay, so...i'm honestly running out-wait! i remember something else i want to say. About a week ago, a great friend of mine introduced me to a book called Modest Proposal. Let me tell you, best book ever! It's so cute and makes you smile. It's sequel, Hometown Girl, is even better. It's my favorite actually so far...I'm still waiting for the next books to come out. I suspect there will be 5 books total. One for each girl: Lauryn, Jocelyn, Emma, Chloe, Andrea...I believe that's all of them. Ha well, they're just good. They're kind of chick-flicky, but that's okay. Some people love books like that.


Okay, now i'm really done. Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Character Devolpment

Okay, so i feel that i need to post something....it's been a while after all. My two followers must be wondering what's wrong with me :) so, i'm about to do a character development fourteen question thing. ENJOY!

1. What is your real, birth name? What name do you use?
Hey, I'm Chloe Anne Knight. I go by Chloe, though I suppose you could call me Anne, I just won't answer.

2. Do you have a nickname? What is it, and where did you get it?
No nicknames for me. It's kind of hard to find something normal to call me....

3. What do you look like? (Include height, weight, hair, eyes, skin, apparent age, and distinguishing features)
I am 5'7" at about 135 pounds. I've been told i'm beautiful, but i don' t believe them. My hair color is naturally blond, but I wasn't a fan of how white it looked in the sun, so I died it brunette. My eyes are blue, but I've been told they look green on occasion. Currently, I'm tan, but only because I just moved from Florida. It won't take long for the Chicago rain to bleach me back to...normal. My age is 17 and i've heard it's a good age to be, so i'm hoping i won't grow up anytime soon. As for distinguishing features, I have none. My mother has kept me pretty well protected most of my life so I never had time to go explore and earn a few battle scars.

4. How do you dress most of the time?
Jeans and a nice shirt. Nothing too fancy.

5. How do you "dress up?"
Only on occasion will i ever put on a dress, but that's how i would "dress up."

6. How do you "dress down?"
A tank top...

7. What do you wear when you go to sleep?
Girl boxers and a tank top. Sometimes if it gets cold enough i put sweats on, but that rarely happens.

8. Do you wear any jewelry?
Yes. A necklace that my father gave to me. It's a long chain with a medium sized clear-blue stone. I never take it of.

9. In your opinion, what is your best feature?
My eyebrows. I can do a lot with them.

10. What's your real birth date?
May 10

11. Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.?
I just moved to Chicago, so i'm not really used to my home. It's normal, i suppose, with windows and a door. The lock on the back one always gets stuck, but that's nothing a good kick won't fix. The walls are painted warm oranges, yellows, and blues. The carpet is brown and comfortable enough to sleep on. My mother always makes sure the house is clean, so my house is the place to be when i hang out with friends.

12. Do you own a car? Describe it.
I wish. But if i did it would be something small. Anything affordable would be great, too.

13. What is your most prized mundane possession? Why do you value it so much?
My father's necklace. When i was born he died. I don't know why though, my mother always gets a really sad look whenever i mention him, so i tend to leave it be. The mystery leaves room for my creativity to spill out. I always imagine my dad dying in honor.

14. What one word best describes you?
Um...casual

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

TRON: LEGACY

Ever heard of a movie called Tron? I have. From Kingdom Hearts 2, Sora is zapped into the technological world where he must defeat the MCP in order to return the world back to it's original state. Tron is the name of the program who helps you out. I'm not sure what Tron from the 80's was about, but the modern one from 2010, titled Tron: Legacy, is by far one of my favorite movies of all time.

Remember how it felt when you watched Avatar for the first time? The amazement you felt by every detail that this strange planet showed you? Tron gives you the same feeling, only this time you can actually relate. I've grown up in a world that has technological advancements every year. This fact makes me believe that one day Tron might actually be possible.

Trailer:


This movie blew my mind, and i highly recommend it to anyone who holds a small fracture of imagination inside of themselves. Please go watch it. Before i sign out i must give credit to the 80's Tron. It was created to inspire technological advancement and give hope to those humans who didn't believe technology could advance as far as it has today. Way to go! I applaud you:) See ya.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Oranges^2

A couple days have passed since i've written.....okay, maybe more like a week, but i'm going to try and make up for everything with this post. It will most likely be a lame post, but stay with me for as long as you can. Okay, so Christmas Break began yesterday, technically. Yay no school! That's always good news. And for the break i decided to do something worth my time. Guess what i chose to do? Read this book:


and let me tell you I LOVE IT!!! Actually, i've already finished it and am reading the second one: LIKE A FIRE IS BURNING. The characters are indescribable and real. "
PILLAR OF LIGHT begins the saga of the Benjamin Steed family, who, in the fall of 1826, move from Vermont to Palmyra Township in upstate New York in search of better farmland. Almost immediately they meet a young man named Joseph Smith and are thrown into the maelstrom of controversy that swirls around him. Is he deluded farm boy or prophet of God? Does he commune with angels or consort with devils? The answers to those questions - intensely personal, bitterly divisive - will profoundly affect the lives of the Steeds and many others. From the frontiers of early America to the complexities of the last half of the twentieth century, THE WORK AND THE GLORY series chronicles the triumphs and tragedies of one family caught up in the events of the Restoration" (thank you barnes&noble for that great description).

My favorite character is Benjamin Steed. He is....indescribable. I don't know what to say. You'll have to read the book. Nathan, his son, is number 2 on my list of favorites. Please just read it, it will change your life. Okay, maybe not that much, but it is a good read. I love how they describe Joseph as a normal farmer instead of some amazing prophet. I mean, yes, he's both, but when i think "prophet" my impression is a serious man in a black suit, probably in the later years of his life, who acts as a perfect example of Christ for us followers. You know you do, too. This book puts a different perspective in your head.

Other than reading i've also been watching Friends a lot. I'm up to season 5, and i will say that i'm proud of that fact :) which is sad. Since the break just began, i should probably be finding other activities to be doing, say, hanging out with the friends i've neglected for a while. Truth be told, i want to hang out with them, girl and guy, but i just don't understand how i can be good company. I don't talk. I say dumb things that don't even make sense. Honestly, how am i going to find a husband when i can't put myself out there?? Such a sad life i lead...

Umm....yeah, my antisocial-ness is showing and i don't know what to say. So i'll close this post and go back to watching Friends. See ya.